Comics Sans

So you know how you have those days when something is off, and everything is a HUGE deal, like getting stuck at a red light and having so much to do that you just cannot do anything, and the Comic Sans font is just driving you crazy because you are actually supposed to use it even though it was only cool in 1998 and then you realize that you are bored and stressed and maybe hungry and sad and tired and dying even though you know you aren’t dying but sometimes being dramatic is okay.

This week is almost over.   The end of this week means that I have only two weeks left of summer classes before “freedom” of work and teaching and maybe reading something that has nothing to do with curriculum design and does not use any acronyms like ELL, TESOL, SIOP, or IDIUbD.  Maybe by that time things will have relaxed a little bit.  I can go to the beach, move into a new apartment, and actually take time to cook instead of living off of Crazy Chais.

And still the George Michael saxophone riff is stuck in my head and all I want to do is take a day off and marathon Downton Abbey.

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“Wake up, my friend, and find the beauty in living rather than simply existing”

it’s time for an adventure

Summer passing

“And then her heart changed, or at least she understood it; and the winter passed, and the sun shone upon her.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

For now I am here.  I am in this city, in this state of being and I am here.

School. Work. Everything.

Today was my first day at my elementary school placement, which means that next week I start working with a sixth grade class at a school with 99% poverty.  My other two placements are still to be determined.  You can never do too many things though, right?

My ESL classes are great– I love seeing my students understand and feel excited about being able to communicate.  I love being able to go into the class without a plan and just… teach.  It feels good.

Right now I’m just tired.  There’s never enough time.

For sleep.

Like, ever.

Sometimes I get stressed and wonder whether I should be going into the field, and whether I can even handle it– the time, the amount of work and strain and difficulty and… everything.  Some days feel like this:

A friend is staying at Happy Valley Farm and I so wish I could be there with her.  In a way it feels like I’ve had my time there, and this is where I should be.  For now at least.  Maybe someday I’ll have lots of free time and get enough sleep and not be stressed.

Until that day, I’ll work at 3 libraries and go to grad school full-time and teach an ESL class and do 45 hours of field work and a graduate assistantship.  Mainly I want to sleep.  It’s been a long day.

Autumn’s coming.  It’s time for some cool weather and coats and boots and hot chocolate and leaves changing colors.  Maybe it’s just time for some change.

And a vacation.

I really wish I had time to read for pleasure without feeling guilty.  Ahhhh well.

Really things are good and stuff, I’m just tired.  Wednesdays do that to me.  Wednesdays are hard because Tuesdays are also hard.  I’m just exhausted from class overload.  School coma.

Doctor Who has been helping me through this.  At least I don’t have to worry about saving the world from alien life forms this week, right?  Keeps things in perspective.

 

 

 

We will swim in your kidney, kidney-shaped pool

I’m the kind of person who has absurd expectations about everything and nothing ever ever goes as planned.  Life is like that.

I’m working two jobs now and I’m making friends or something.  I spend most of my time in Rochester due to a new gent.  I finished all four seasons of Gossip Girl offered on Netflix instant watch.  I have coffee dates with old and new friends and I’m trying (not very successfully) to teach myself Korean.  I go to coffee shops to try and get work done, my “work” being to figure out my life.  Most of this involves crunching numbers and avoiding making decisions.

Correction: the future is terrifying.

I slept in today.  I made the superhero of brownies and made my bfri’s apartment smell incredible.  I went to a coffee shop.  I wandered down the hip streets of Rochester and I couldn’t resist buying the new Beirut album.

Let’s face it though, being lazy is the best.

Do you make New Years Resolutions?  I’m not usually the type, but I’m going to try to stay in touch with the people I care about.  I occasionally disappear when I get stressed and that’s no good.  I’m also going to try to be more financially responsible.  Am I saying that because I feel buyer’s guilt about spontaneously buying a record today?  Yup.  Does that make it any less true that I should monitor my spending?  Nope.  Gotta save those dollah bills, ya’ll.

I might move away from here.  Maybe another state, another country… or maybe not.  There are people keeping me here.  There are scary things out there.  Decisions are hard.

Every time I talk to my friends in Italy they ask when “Quando torni?” When do you return?  It’s really not about if I’m returning, but when.  If anyone wants to buy me a plane ticket to go traveling around the world, please feel free.  You can even come with me and it’ll be fun times.

I checked out a book called “Planning and Teaching Creatively Within a Required Curriculum for Adult Learners.”  My excitement over discovering this book told me that teaching is probably the thing for me.  I’m also semi-considering library school due to the encouragement of my librarian co-workers.  Can’t I just do both and not have to pay please?

Back to blogging, no more disappearances.  Back to real life, reality, whatever.

Gotta seize the day and whatnot.

Que vamos hacer contigo?

“I’ve been swimming for a thousand years
and I’ve seen more than you can realize
I accept that you will never understand
so I will gladly take your hand”

-Yellow Ostrich

I know why you were so excited for Halloween.  I do.  It wasn’t for the costumes or the obscene amounts of candy or haunted hay rides.  It’s obviously because you were dying to see Christmas decorations and advertisements and music and holiday cheer in every aspect of your life, right?  Don’t worry, that’s a rhetorical question.  I know that I’m right.

I’m kind of freaking out.  I have some decisions to make.  I need to make them soon, but possibly because I am simply sick of not knowing.  I need the decisions to be made and I can change my mind later if I have to.

Puppies are adorable.  If you look on petfinder.com, you will want every puppy.  They all have sad stories and need a good home and just look at those adorable puppy eyes and YOU’RE THEIR ONLY HOPE!

Anyway, I have to figure stuff out.

I have options, which is a start, but each one could result in utter failure.  That would be bad.  That being said, I really can’t/shouldn’t continue working less than 20 hours per week at minimum wage because this is really getting me nowhere.  Hire me?  Please?

Do I sound desperate?

I have met some new people recently.  It’s been a while since I’ve made new friends, and it’s funny to think of all the little things these people don’t know about me.

Like how I obsessively look at the list of ingredients on basically every product I buy at the grocery store.  And that I love grocery stores and grocery shopping.

Like how I love colorful things and glitter and dresses and sunshine and snow and oceans and beaches and stars.

.

Like how I have an obsession with olive oil.  Seriously good stuff.

.

Like how I am dying to go back to Italy, to the extent that I try not to think about it because it’s hard to be constantly reminded that I’m not there.

Like how I’m kinda freaking out about my future.

Yeah, we’re back to that.  I’ve got a lot on my mind.

Remember. Breathe.

You want to know how to tell I’m stressed?  I bake things.  And then I eat them regardless of how horrible they are for me.  I shouldn’t, but that’s what happens.

I made brownies tonight and they were delicious.

This weekend I’m going to a wedding.  It’s for a relative I don’t know and I’ll have to mingle with other relatives I don’t know.  Will I dance the funky chicken?  Only time will tell.

Until then, I’ll be eating brownies and watching Gossip Girl.  Also, I’ve been relying on my new music discoveries to keep me from having a nervous breakdown entertained.

You get every point if you knew about these bands already.  They’re all great.  I definitely have this music on repeat.

Yellow Ostrich

Young the Giant

Plastics Revolution

This simply makes me smile:

The best

I should probably ask the grass for some advice

L’autunno

You know that feeling you get when you talk to someone you’ve been missing for a really long time?  Someone who you really love but they just happen to be really far away from you?

It’s a good feeling.

Good things are happening.

I started dancing.  It was scary at first, but I sucked it up and went by myself on a Thursday night about 45 minutes away in the pouring rain… and then I remembered that I love dancing.  That’s another good feeling.

Recently I’ve talked to a lot of people I haven’t seen in a while.  I talked to Rob from Happy Valley Farm in Baschi… and I just miss that family like crazy.  I had almost forgotten how much (total lie– I think about Italy every day).

I’ve talked to my best friend in the world who is so far away and who always figures out everything in the best and most exciting ways.  I’ll see her again soon.

I saw my lovely Lauren in Oberlin last weekend, who is getting married in January and just moved to Texas.  I’ll miss her like crazy too.

I talked to some friends from Italy– three in fact!  One I only knew briefly; I let her borrow my phone on a bus in Sicily.  Another I knew for a couple days in Trapani; we became good friends in the few days I spent there, and the last is a pen pal I’ve never met in real life, but who has to deal with my horrible Italian and does so with the patience of a saint.  I think the universe is telling me I need to practice my Italian and get myself back to Italy pronto.

I also talked to my sister, who I hope to see soon, maybe over some veggie nuggets and Flatbread pizza and Green Elephant tofu and Gelato Fiasco.  So much food.

Tonight, I baked bread.  It was my day off from work and since I was housebound, I did virtually nothing.  I baked bread and watched Gossip Girl.  I got my Halloween costume together.  And now, yeah.  I’m going to go carve a pumpkin.

(Note: completed pumpkin:

 Can you see it?  From “How to Train Your Dragon?”)

Things are looking up, see?

Obie alums made this website: 
http://whythefuckshouldichooseobe
rlin.com/.  Sorry about the language, but it’s AWESOME.  According to Ma’ayan via facebook, “‎24 hour update: 1,423 submissions and 2,036 shares on Facebook. You guys are all GREAT.”  I do love Oberlin.  You should too.

The beauty of Oberlin in autumn

PS- Food for thought– Korea in the near future?  It’s always a possibility…

Halloween is almost here.  I won’t be wearing a too-revealing outfit (Check out Joy the Baker’s “Don’t be a Sexy Panda for Halloween and 8 other festive tips”)

I will not be going to any haunted houses or watching the newest or any of the other Paranormal Activities.  I’m a wimp.  I scare easily.  The Sixth Sense traumatized me for the longest time and don’t even get me started on The Blair Witch Project.

I can handle pumpkin goodies and donuts and cider (just no candy corn).  No prob.  That combined with dressing up and giving children candy and going to dances and parties… I’m in.

pretty soon it’ll be snowing.

Insonnia Durante L’apocalisse Zombie

Hi.

How’s it goin’?

I’m…. yeah.  It’s that kind of day/week/month.  You know?  I know you do.

Anyway, I have to do things like go to work now.  Things are getting serious.  Especially when you have to deal with interviews and schedules and making plans and buying work clothes.  Truth.  I own a bow tie.  If only it looked like this:

Tomorrow, tomorrow I have to work.

Anyway…

Things I’ve learned this week:

1.  When you go to bed at 3am, you won’t wake up until at least noon.  It’s just how it is.  Totes happened to me today.  Then I danced to Ke$ha.

2.  Looking up student loan payments is occasionally necessary along with being terrifying and simply horrible.

3.  You shouldn’t question it when interviewers don’t ask you the difficult questions.  Or any questions.  I know you brainstormed and google-searched answers to them, but be thankful you don’t have to deal with that nonsense and instead can simply explain why anyone would study Ancient Greek Language & Literature.  It’s because I’m awesome, duh.

4.  There are many reasons why a return to Oberlin is necessary.  A short stay.  It’ll happen, but not this weekend, unfortunately.  I’ll bake things.  You know me.

5.  I’m really really bad at keeping in touch with people.  I have a list of e-mails I need to respond to and letters to write and packages to send.  Stickers to put on the letters.  If I owe you something, it’ll happen soon.  I’ll get my head in the game.

6.  I can appreciate nice cars.  I remember when my dream car was a PT Cruiser (ugh, I know, right?) but thankfully I’ve become cultured and can totally see the appeal in a nice car.  That being said, I really just want a car that runs.

7.  I just now realized that I tried to organize my life by writing events on my calendar… and got all of the dates wrong.  Points off for me.

8.  Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is getting filmified.  I’m really not happy about it, mainly because Jonathan Safran Foer’s writing style is so beautiful it’s a shame to tell the story without it.  That being said, I did love the movie Everything is Illuminated, but I read the book after seeing it.  That completely changes things.  (I’d even say Everything is Illuminated is better than Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. )

9.  This song makes me so happy (just don’t watch the video):

10.  ”It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”  - Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

11.  Finding out Beirut has a new album out made my day.  Finding out the entire thing is on youtube made it so much better.

You sly devil, you

Here are some random things to keep you amused.  They amuse me.

This is 100% something I would do.  I love it.